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August 4, 2004 - BA Alienates the Locals at La Jolla Shores

I stopped riding a "Longboard" almost 40 years ago - This was the last longboard, other than big wave boards, that I've owned.

Mike Croteau and I launched the incredibly bitchin' Croteau - Andrews Planes, back in '67 -

We made these boards in my garage at The Shores, and - Mobley was by far, the best surfer with whom I had ever surfed - and he was one of those rare characters, back then, who was known and accepted on both the North and South Shores of Oahu.

"BA you windbag - get to the point - we wanna hear how stupid you were at The Shores!"

Anyway, a couple of times a year, I've gotta surf in a contest where the required equipment [surfing that is] is a "longboard."

I may be surfing in The UCSD Longboard Luau again this year, on Dr. Carl Luber's Cancer Survivors Team -

So - I gotta practice - So - I borrowed a board from Matt - then I paddled-out at The Shores last Sunday - Of Course - I had to sit with the pack - Naturally, the surf was pretty darn good!

Whew -

  • Riding a longboard - easy -
  • Cross-stepping to the nose - easy
  • Nose riding - easy
  • Cross-stepping back from the nose - not so easy - but doable
  • Dealing with a bunch of longboarders who have no clue about how to turn, kick-out, cross-step, etc., IMPOSSIBLE!!
  • I started screaming at ALL of the longboarders between the Marine Room and the North Peak at Black's.

    "You kooks, NONE of you know how to turn - all you do is take-off at an angle and race across the face of the wave - posing - as if you know what you are doing!"

    Then I lambasted leashes, and wetsuits, and yuppie cars, and Starbucks Coffee, and molded surfboards, and ...

    And then I started yelling about how instant the retribution would have been 40 years ago, if a kook exhibited the same idiocy in the lineup, then, as they do now.

    Whew - Whew -

    After my tirade, I looked around and noticed - for some reason - there was quite a lot of open space between me and most of the others in the water -

    Then - I had to do some rapid backpeddling -

    Included in my ALL generalizations, were Kevin Connley,  Neal Norris,  Tom Ortner,  Wanker, Spanker,  Waynester,  Spicoli, and a few more.

    I apologized profusely for including dem with doz -

    And - I lived to surf another day!

    Later,

    BA

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